Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I've Been Not So Good

I had a stream of thought going for confessions. It's amazing though what a weekend of not posting can do to you. You kind of lose that stream.

I do have to confess...I'm the poster boy for male church toughness. I really suck at not opening up to let people know what I'm really going through. I am great at encouraging others but when asked my patented answer is "It's going good."

So this month I feel like the past nine months have finally caught up to me emotionally. First, I let two different people make decisions that affected my family and I, and I took it personally inside. I have had some really negative internally conversations. I've partly been depressed. I allowed these events to shape who I was viewing myself and in more ways than one have wanted to do nothing but retreat from the world.

Ok, now that I've run off practically everyone of my readers...let me give you my plan for rising above this. I'm now beginning to go on the upswing from this.

Run To God
Adam and Eve ran from God when they first sinned. They ended up hiding from Him. I don't want that to be me. I want to run to God. I want to run to His arms. In fact through this whole set of events God has been the one that has been faithful.

Speak His Word
A couple of weeks ago I had someone post a comment on this blog that reminded me of a Scripture that I quoted often in the past. When you quote Scripture it comes alive. It moves you from your current to where God wants you. It feeds or fuels your faith.

Admit
I am admitting here that I have blown it in this area. I am going to still find it hard to say things are not going good when people ask but I'm going to be better at it.

Keep Moving Forward
Don't let your past or events in your past hold you back from reaching your God potential. God is the "God of what is to come" as well. Allow your events to mold your faith in Him. Keep moving...keep going...keep volunteering...keep ministering. Keep doing whatever is necessary to move forward. Satan can't rob you of your calling but He will try to rob you of your confidence. If he can steal that he can in essence stop your progressing of doing that thing that God has destined you for.

These aren't the only things I'm doing but they are a start and I'm recovering. God has been revealing some things to me and some other events are transpiring that God is using to bring back the confidence in me.

What do you do when your not so good????

4 comments:

INTELBLKMN said...

Running to God is a good start.
I also have the problem of running in the opposite direction.
Be encouraged to know that, in spite of our flaws, He still loves us and His plan for you hasn't changed.
Your willingness to come to Him will increase your effectiveness in life and ministry.

littlepastor said...

This might sound stupid, but when I'm "Not Good" I go running and running and running and running(actually running, not theoretically)... until I'm to exhausted to think about the "Not Good" things.

Will Henderson said...

Hey Jason I hear you. I really do man. As a young man I grew up on a cattle farm in Outback Queensland (Aust). I was tough, my dad was tough, heck my four sisters and mum are tougher than most blokes (also beautiful)...
Many times I'd get broken physically just working not to mention the many bones broken fooling around riding bikes, bulls and broncs...
But nothing, nothing I've experienced physically comes close to the battering I've had in the past few years emotionally as I've sought with all my heart to live for God and see the lost introduced to Jesus.
Let's face it - it's a war. A war fought on so many faces. Once that's understood I know it's okay to take time out in the hospital to get patched up after a particularly hard round.
And when things get really dark I find it's a call for me to get back to the basics. Hey when I get smashed I reckon some of the best medicine is to refocus again on base reality. Because truth is, even if nothing goes my way ever again - I am blessed beyond comprehension... my wife, my kids, my relationships and most importantly my life now and forever right with God through Jesus.
And sometimes I just need physical time out the fight. For me Jesus isn't calling me to a sprint, or a marathon, He's calling me to run with Him on a journey, an adventure. Some fast times, some slow jogs and some times I must just STOP and sit with Him and enjoy the view.

Will Henderson said...

I hear you, I really do.
As a young boy I grew up on a cattle farm, I was raised tough, my Dad was tough, my Mum is tough and my four sisters are tougher than most blokes I know (beautiful too)... I've had broken bones working and playing around on bikes, bulls and broncs... but none of this is anywhere near the pain and battering I've had as a Pastor trying with all my heart to follow Jesus and see those who're far from God introduced to Him.
But let's face it, it's a part of our calling. We're called to join Jesus in battle and sometimes we get smashed. Things I've learned;
1) Keep a tight grip on reality - even if not another thing goes my way in this life - God has blessed me beyond comprehension, my wife my kids, and my relationship with Jesus forever!
2) Fight the battle with a team not like Rambo. Spiritual Rambo's don't exist. I let very close mates speak healing, hope and vision into me. Regularly.
3) Sometimes I need to fall back for a while and get patched up. It’s okay to take time out and get refreshed. Get refreshed and get back in the battle.
4) Jesus isn't calling me to join Him for a sprint (though it might be all over at any moment). Jesus isn't calling me to a marathon without breaks or relief. I believe Jesus is calling us to an adventure, a journey where at times its fast, at times its grueling, but at times it’s time out and just sit at the Masters feet and enjoy the fact that He is leading.

Praying for you mate, I really am. I can’t wait to hear what God has around the corner for you, your family and your community!!